“You’re always working and you’re never home to help me!” I complained.
There, I said it. But was it true? Not really. I just wanted to get my point across so badly that I was willing to exaggerate the problem. Yes, he worked long hours to support our family, but I just wanted to be heard. I needed help. I craved adult conversation. I missed him.
The Power of Words
Since I was home with the kids all day, I was often harried and overwhelmed. It took all that was within me not to overwhelm my husband when he came through the door at night. Instead of greeting him with a hug and kiss, I often found myself immediately launching into an animated retelling of my stressful day. Because I was tired and cranky, my words were not often welcoming, or even kind.
Have your lips ever let loose with all or nothing words toward your spouse when you’re stressed and worn out? Just because you love your spouse doesn’t mean it’s easy to show that love day in and day out. Kids, financial stress, sickness, and job issues all make showing love through our language that much harder.
Letting Go of “Me”
I knew that if my heart continued to harbor resentment toward my husband, angry words would continue to follow. Matthew 12:34b reminded me that “the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” I wanted my heart to be full of a God-honoring love for my hard-working husband, and I knew I had to confess my anger and resentment to God, who always hears our prayers.
With prayer, God helped me shift my focus off of myself, and soon I found great joy in selflessly praying for my husband. My conversations with God were now filled with thankfulness for my life partner. And my conversations with my husband were filled with words of encouragement that built up, rather than mean-spirited words that tore down.
Do you long to change the way you communicate with your spouse? You can start by talking to God and praying words of Scripture over your spouse. Here are four prayers to get you started:
- Heavenly Father, may your blessing be upon my spouse, giving them success in the works of their hands and heart.
Lord our God, may your blessings be with us.
Give us success in all we do! —Psalm 90:17 (GNTD)
- May my spouse’s heart trust in you, Lord God. Help them to allow themselves to be guided by you, as you shine a light on the path you want them to follow.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way. —Proverbs 3:5-6 (GNTD)
- God, may my spouse be drawn to you as their shelter and strength. Guide them in good times and in troubling times.
God is our shelter and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble. —Psalm 46:1 (GNTD)
- Lord, may my spouse continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of you. To you be the glory, now and forever! Amen.
But continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory, now and forever! Amen. —2 Peter 3:18 (GNTD)
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