As humans, we tend to focus on material things—things we can control that produce tangible results. In my fight with insecurity, that’s exactly what I focused on. How can I make myself better? I thought. What can I do to change myself so that people will like me more—so that I will like me more?

I’ve discovered that life as a young woman can be brutal. God keeps whispering to us: You’re special. You are beautiful. There is no one else like you. But the world tries to constantly silence that truth.

When God’s truth seems to fall silent, we often run to our own solutions instead of holding tighter to God. We fight our insecurities by taking things into our own hands and trying to change the things about ourselves we don’t like—putting on new clothes, trying out a new haircut, wearing different makeup, even finding new friends who might appreciate us more. Then, usually when we least expect it, something triggers our mind and we remember what God whispered to us: You are special. You are beautiful. There is no one else like you.

For many of us, we never completely forget that we are special in God’s eyes. We just deploy our own devices to fix ourselves. And in the process, we cram God’s truth into the backs of our minds. His truth just sits there, competing against the things we’re doing to change ourselves, faintly crying out to be realized again, to be believed again. The worst part is that we think it’s okay. We think it’s okay to both take things into our own hands and still claim to trust in God’s true words.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting some side-swept bangs or a new pair of boots for fall. We can embrace the things in life we enjoy—they’re part of our personalities, part of who God made us to be. But if they go beyond things we simply enjoy, and become a worldly solution to a problem we should really be taking to God, things get scary.

In the internal debate between trusting God and fighting for ourselves, we often go back to our own solutions. Back and forth, we struggle between having control and surrendering to God.

I trust God. Maybe I’ll like myself more with glasses. I trust God. Maybe people would like me more if I wore fancier clothes. I trust God. Maybe I should start working out so I’m not so embarrassed.

It’s a sick cycle that poisons our hearts, and no amount of self-changing or affirmation from others can stop it. We must surrender our hearts to God, handing over the depression, the shame, the guilt, the hopelessness and the tears, trusting that we will receive God’s love in return. In this moment of surrender, we can unlock the freedom of being daughters of God.

It’s in this moment that we finally feel confident without having to change anything about ourselves. It’s in this moment that we can live every day actually believing God when he tells us: You are special. You’re beautiful. There is no one else like you.  

Keep these 3 verses handy as you work towards surrendering your insecurities to God.

1. Ephesians 2:10 (GNTD)
   God has made us what we are, and in our union with Christ Jesus he has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do.
2. Genesis 1:27 (GNTD)
   So God created human beings, making them to be like himself. He created them male and female…
3. Psalm 91:1-2 (GNTD)
   Whoever goes to the Lord for safety, whoever remains under the protection of the Almighty, can say to him, “You are my defender and protector. You are my God; in you I trust.”