When life makes sense, I rarely question God. Why would I? As I coast through each day with a smile on my face, brimming with self-confidence, I feel his presence, provision and love. But as soon as this security fades, I begin to doubt. My high-flying approach to life doesn’t feel so high anymore, causing me to wonder if God truly has my best interest in mind. What’s the deal, God? Why are you allowing me to endure this period of anxiety? Do you not see me suffering?

A little over a year ago, this uncertainty and apprehension drove me into one of the deepest, darkest, loneliest valleys of my life. After accepting my “dream job”—which happened to bring me within an hour drive of my family—I packed up my belongings and headed home, praising God each step of the way. God, I’m blown away by this opportunity. Thank you for answering my many, many prayers. Help me to honor you in this new place.

But as soon as I settled into my new position, I began to doubt. My role left me feeling anxious, incompetent and worthless on a daily basis. I wondered if I would survive a full year, yet alone the next week. I wanted to forget God’s provision and push forward on my own, forgetting the seemingly ridiculous concept of a “dream job” altogether. Where did trusting God lead me? I thought.

In this moment, I completely lost sight of God’s provision. Life stopped making sense—and I stopped relying on God. But as overwhelming thoughts flooded my mind, one powerful, inspiring, transformative idea surfaced. Maybe I just don’t understand. Maybe God has something greater for me, and I just haven’t experienced it yet. Maybe I just need to keep trusting him.

Over the course of the next year, I had to commit feelings of hurt, brokenness and uncertainty to God, fully relying on him for the strength to keep smiling. Eventually, he provided for me in a beautiful (yet unexpected) way, releasing me from my struggles, worries and doubts. You see, I want to trust God all the time—not just when life makes sense, but when life doesn’t make sense. I want to firmly believe in his provision, even if I question the journey. And I want to feel confident, assured and secure, because my God loves me with an unimaginable love.

Meditate on the following verses as you seek hope, peace and confidence.

1. God protects.
   The Lord is our protector and glorious king, blessing us with kindness and honor. He does not refuse any good thing to those who do what is right. – Psalm 84:11 (GNTD)
2. God leads.
   Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.– Proverbs 3:5-6 (GNTD)
3. God offers peace.
   Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid. ­– John 14:27 (GNTD)
4. God provides rest.
   When I lie down, I go to sleep in peace; you alone, O Lord, keep me perfectly safe. – Psalm 4:8 (GNTD)
5. God has a plan.
   I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. – Jeremiah 29:11 (GNTD)