As a kid, I longed for the day when I’d be free of the heartache and horror of middle school politics. I yearned for adulthood. Adults always get along! I naively thought. I was told by teachers and parents that things would get better. You’re all just hormonal and going through big changes, they said. Just wait till you grow up.

In a way, they were right. But while I no longer have to deal with middle school woes, I’ve discovered that adult relationships are hard in their own ways. Sure, Susie isn’t going around telling everyone some wild rumor about how I wrote a love song to my one true love who’ll never love me back. But I still feel the sting of gossip. I still bear witness to what people are willing to say (or not say) for the approval of others. And, in a way, the cool kids still rule the roost—it’s just that now the “cool kid” might be that star mom Instagram influencer or the church pastor’s favorite staff member.

Giving Love When It’s Not Deserved

It’s hard to face the harsh reality: sometimes people will hurt you. Whether it’s a family member who’s constant criticizing you or a friend who turned her back on you, people disappoint and hurt us.

Are you feeling burned by someone today? Maybe you feel foolish for ever trusting that person. Perhaps the situation has made you feel like your middle school self, caught up in a web of gossip and fear.

If you’re feeling beat down today, remember this: God sees you for who you are. Regardless of what anyone thinks of you, God knows the real you. And he loves you. You don't have to get back at someone who hurt you—or make them see the error of their ways. You can trust God to handle things.

But don’t take my word for it. Take some time right now to read through these verses of wisdom and insight to help get you through a rough patch in your relationship with someone who hurt you:

No matter what anyone says about you, God sees the real you.

“When my bones were being formed,
    carefully put together in my mother's womb,
when I was growing there in secret,
    you knew that I was there—
    you saw me before I was born.
The days allotted to me
    had all been recorded in your book,
    before any of them ever began.”  Psalm 139:15–16 (GNTD)

Remember that God cares about your heart—and the heart of those who hurt you.

“But the Lord said to him, ‘Pay no attention to how tall and handsome he is. I have rejected him, because I do not judge as people judge. They look at the outward appearance, but I look at the heart.’” 1 Samuel 16:7 (GNTD)

Ask God to help you love those who’ve hurt you. You don’t have to be their friend—but God does call you to love them.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your friends, hate your enemies.’ But now I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may become the children of your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:43–45a (GNTD)

Trust in God’s ultimate justice. Leave it up to God to judge the situation.

“Never take revenge, my friends, but instead let God's anger do it. For the scripture says, ‘I will take revenge, I will pay back, says the Lord.’” Romans 12:19 (GNTD)

Even if the situation is unfair, ask God to show you what you can learn from this experience. What is he showing you about loving others well? 

“Above everything, love one another earnestly, because love covers over many sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (GNTD)