Praying with my husband is a humbling, vulnerable act that has comforted us in times of trouble, encouraged us in times of doubt and empowered us in times of weakness. We have prayed anthems of praise and laments of sadness together, prayers of triumph and prayers of defeat. In any situation we face, we quickly turn to God for guidance.

But it wasn’t always that way.

When we were first married, praying together was painfully awkward. I feared that my prayers would sound foolish and shallow, like a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. I didn’t want to reveal to my husband that I wasn’t the well-spoken, secure woman he thought he’d married.

My husband, too, had a whole set of insecurities he was dealing with. But if we wanted our lives to continually point to Christ, we knew we had to surrender all these doubts and fears to him.

I researched how to pray together as a married couple, and the data I found shocked me: The divorce rate for couples who regularly pray together is less than 1 percent.* This is astonishing since the divorce rate across the United States hovers at 50 percent.

Incorporating prayer into our marriage went from being a goal to an immediate priority. Although we were uncomfortable initially, we persevered, and we’re glad we did.

Here are 5 tips to help you and your spouse pray together.

1. Talk about your expectations. Who will be praying? Will you be taking turns? Will you have a set time and place? What will you be praying about? Talk about the parts of praying together that make you uncomfortable, and ask your spouse to do the same.
2. Read Scripture. Ephesians 6.18 can provide direction when beginning your prayer journey together: “Do all this in prayer, asking for God's help. Pray on every occasion, as the Spirit leads. For this reason keep alert and never give up; pray always for all God's people.” Find a verse that speaks to you and refer to it often.
3. Start simply. Once you’ve communicated your expectations, just start praying. Don’t worry about the right or wrong things to say. Some days you will have more to say than others, and that’s fine. You will be amazed at how much easier it gets.
4. Keep a list of things you want to pray about together. If you’re having trouble remembering everything you want to pray about, have a shared list to reference. That way, you’ll feel less pressure to remember everything.
5. Persevere in your efforts. When we first got married, Dan and I said we would read a devotion and pray together every night before dinner. Too many nights of hunger and chaos made this plan a bit ambitious.

Set aside a time that will work for your schedules. And don’t be discouraged if you don’t pray together as often as you’d like. Remember, God is more interested in the time he has with you now than the time you missed with him in the past.

*David McLaughlin , The Role of the Man in the Family, 1990.