What if my family was different? What if things were simpler? What if everyone could just get along? These thoughts cross my mind often. And around the holidays, they cross my mind almost daily.

When my husband and I visit his side of the family for Christmas, we go to one house and stay in one place. It’s easy, low stress, and exactly what the holidays are supposed to be—simple, with no extreme planning necessary.

But when we visit my side of the family, things get complicated. We go to three houses, which means we spend our short holiday time jumping between different families, trying to please different people and attempting to fit in with different crowds. We rarely have time to relax.

Now don’t get me wrong—I love my family. But acting out that love is sometimes tiring. I aim to see everyone, spend the same amount of time with everyone and have the same kind of fun with everyone, but it never works out that way. The pressure to keep everyone happy—and maintain my sanity—is overwhelming and crushes me every time. Then I’m back to square one thinking hopelessly, what if things were different?

Maybe you’re like me, part of a broken family you love dearly. But you can’t help but think how much easier it would be if your family was “normal.” If people hadn’t gotten divorced. If grudges had been overcome. If everyone simply loved one another genuinely.

Perhaps a broken family is not the issue, but there’s something else that puts the pressure on you around the holidays. Your brother’s bad life decisions make family time tense, so you take it upon yourself to try and keep the atmosphere cordial. Or maybe financial hardship keeps you from even being able to visit family. The travel costs are too much to handle—but can you really justify disappointing your family?

If something or someone is putting pressure on you this holiday season—to show up, to be better, to create peace where there is chaos—look to God’s Word for encouragement. You can read through these verses when the pressure feels overwhelming: 

1. Psalm 34:27-18 (GNTD)
   The righteous call to the Lord, and he listens; he rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who are discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope.
2. Romans 8:38-39 (GNTD)
   For I am certain that nothing can separate us from his love: neither death nor life, neither angels nor other heavenly rulers or powers, neither the present nor the future, neither the world above nor the world below—there is nothing in all creation that will ever be able to separate us from the love of God which is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord.
3. Habakkuk 3:17-19 (GNTD)
   Even though the fig trees have no fruit and no grapes grow on the vines, even though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no grain, even though the sheep all die and the cattle stalls are empty, I will still be joyful and glad, because the Lord God is my savior. The Sovereign Lord gives me strength. He makes me sure-footed as a deer and keeps me safe on the mountains.