When I was with her, I felt ageless. The years fell away and we were, once again, college coeds enjoying what life had to offer.

In college, Kozy was the fun one of our group. Her heart was so big and she had room in it for all kinds of people, all kinds of places, and all kinds of experiences. She was vibrant and beautiful, sensitive and kind. She was an includer, always making room for one more and never discriminating.

When she died, there was a hole in the lives of all who knew her.

At her memorial service, my friends and I celebrated Kozy’s life—and the 44 years of abiding friendship we shared. Gazing over photos and mementos of our friendship over the years, I could barely fathom life without that smiling face. It felt like an ever-present shock that I could not get over. Where there is great loss, there is also great pain.

Healing After Loss

Are you struggling with a loss so deep that you wonder if your heart will ever heal?

When my dear friend died, my grief took me on a roller coaster ride of emotions including deep sorrow, guilt, and loneliness. As the weeks and months wore on, I felt myself being led to the book of Psalms where I found restoration through Jesus, the Good Shepherd. What a balm it was to read in Psalm 23:4 that God was with me: “Even as I go through the deepest darkness, I will not be afraid, LORD, for you are with me. Your shepherd’s rod and staff protect me.” (GNT)

Little by little the darkness gave way to the light. I found the profound sorrow in my heart being replaced with gratitude that I had the blessing of such a joyful friendship in the first place. It has been almost four years now—and, while I still miss her terribly, I am thankful for the wealth of memories from our journey together.

It can feel impossible to find peace while your heart is grieving the loss of a loved one. Put your trust in God and allow yourself to be comforted by his Word. May these verses from the book of Psalms bring you hope and healing:

1. Psalm 9:10 (GNTD)
   Those who know you, Lord, will trust you;
     you do not abandon anyone who comes to you.
2. Psalm 29:10-11 (GNTD)
   The Lord rules over the deep waters;
     he rules as king forever.
   The Lord gives strength to his people
     and blesses them with peace.
3. Psalm 16:11 (GNTD)
   You will show me the path that leads to life;
     your presence fills me with joy
     and brings me pleasure forever.
4. Psalm 59:16 (GNTD)
   But I will sing about your strength;
     every morning I will sing aloud of your constant love.
   You have been a refuge for me,
      a shelter in my time of trouble.